CASH FOR CODGERS

Democrats, realizing the success of the President’s “Cash for Clunkers” rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.

 

President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and SenatorReed are expected to make this major announcement at a news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy for the proposal which is named…

 

“CASH FOR CODGERS” and it works like this… Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in 1 old person. The amount the goverment grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts.

 

Special “Bonuses” will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party.

 

Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried food, potatoe chips, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussel sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies.

 

All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.

 

Remember you heard it here first!!

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